…but it should be!
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what it is to be an adult. I’m 32 years old and I don’t really feel like an adult yet. I thought that maybe it was because I wasn’t married, or because I don’t have children. Like any good kid I’ve asked my mum about this over the last few years and she tells me that she still doesn’t feel like an adult either so that’s probably not it. (Well, really I’m the mum, she’s the big kid so perhaps its not a shock that she doesn’t feel grown up yet… Sorry mum but you know it’s true ;-) )I decided this week that adult isn’t really a state of being, it’s a verb. Some days we adult well, other days less so. So, if adult is a verb, it needs a definition. (Hold on, this all has a purpose I promise)
Adult: verb, to chose what you want most over what you want now.
Ok, with that in mind, for me to adult, I need to define what I want most. I’ve thought about this for a couple of days. The answer to this will be different for everyone but here is my answer:
Right! Great! That means nothing…
My next step was to drill down. Okay, I want freedom, but what does that look like to me.
- Freedom is opening my wardrobe and, on seeing a selection of clothes that fit me well, select an outfit that makes me zing.
- Freedom is having enough money to go somewhere at the drop of a hat, either because someone needs me or because I have found myself with a couple of days and want to go exploring.
- Freedom is going to work and knowing I belong there because I am good at it and have been well trained to handle any situation that faces me.
- Freedom is knowing my body is fit and strong and can do what I ask of it.
- Freedom is looking in the mirror and smiling at what I see.
- Freedom is arriving home and kicking off my shoes, sitting on a comfy couch in a beautiful relaxing space.
- Freedom is being silly and fun and not giving a monkeys what anyone else things.
- Freedom is sometimes sitting in front of Netflix with knitting or tatting and just being.
- Freedom is dancing to music that nobody else needs to like. (Dancing in ones underwear is optional but strongly encouraged)
- Freedom is a decent retirement account
- Freedom is a reliable car full of fuel
- Freedom is choice.
So, that’s not all of it, but that is what freedom looks like for me.
Going back to adult as a verb. Making choices that bring me closer to those freedoms is good adulting. I’m on the road to some very good responsible and fun (for me, YMMV) adulting. I’ve read a book, I’ve downloaded software, I’ve talked to friends and loved ones but those are all blog posts for other days. I’ve decided this is reset time, new path, new journey, but with the same destination I’ve always had. I’m still one girl, working on her life to be the best that she can be. But maybe I should change that, I’m just one girl, working on her life to make it the best that it can be…
“Life is not about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself.” George Bernard Shaw.
Life is not about finding myself, it’s about creating myself and I’m creating me! One adult thing at a time.