I am 10 days into 2012 and already it has been up and down (less up than down so far). But I am feeling quite positive about things. That being said, I did not make it to the gym today. I was totally exhausted when I got home from work, I made the mistake of sitting down for a minute and woke up curled on my bed 45minutes later. The realisation that falling asleep on treadmill was a possibility made me decide to stay home. I need to drive to work tomorrow (I have an out of town meeting) so I am planning on packing a gym bag in the morning to throw in the back of the car and head straight there after work rather than coming home first tomorrow. We’ll see what happens.
I made up for the lack of cupboard time yesterday tonight, I spent over an hour (while watching tv) going through, binning what needed binning and organising what needed keeping. I have made a couple of realisations doing this over the last couple of days.
- I have fewer belongings than many other people, things like books, DVDs, CDs, clothing etc I have much less than many others. So what on earth is all my stuff? (see below)
- I hold onto “things” to remind me of the past because I am terrified I will forget everything. My memory is shocking and it really scares me. That is what a lot of my “stuff” is.
- I have tried many different things in life, some I may go back to, others I may not but I have invested so much time, and both myself and my parents have invested a lot of money so I keep things that aren’t the current me. I have listed a part finished cross stitch on Ravelry’s UK classifieds to see if anyone wants it. I have felt burdened by it’s “unfinishedness” for years now but the thought of completing it holds no joy for me any more. Then there is something like a musical instrument, music and other associated equipment. I haven’t played in nearly 3 years but for most of my childhood and teenage years, right through uni (the first time) it defined me. I wouldn’t want it gone, but I know that I don’t want to play right now. Just now, when I look at my musical items the over-riding emotion is guilt. I feel guilty for not playing, I feel guilt at the thought of possibly parting with it all one day and I feel guilty for not missing it more. I need to find some sort of peace and acceptance with the situation.
- I have a bizarre fascination with storing fresh air. Every time I do a clear out I find masses of empty boxes of varying sizes. I get rid of most of them every time but here I am once again storing air… When the great eBay sale of 2012 is over (by summer hopefully) every non-flat-packable box is going!! And by that I mean boxes big enough for a house move can stay, the dozens of shoe box sized ones HAVE to go!
I think I will have a round up of some of the more random things that were in there (and might still be) at the end of hall cupboard week.
So, it is going well on that front. I started the next book in the Sookie Stackhouse series but because I am not on the train tomorrow chances are I’ll get no further with it. Instead I will be listening to a new podcast I have downloaded – Man Vs Debt. Hopefully I’ll have a review of the first two episodes tomorrow.
Pumpkin – I noted your comment yesterday about whether the Yarn Harlot’s books are worth a read. I really like them, not because she writes about knitting as such. I just like her writing style. The one I am currently reading – Things I Learned from Knitting – is a small book, it has 45 things that knitting teaches, not only her but any of us. Useful is not a word I’d use to describe this book (but perhaps Knitting Rules! fits that description). They are like very small essays almost. Some of it is laugh out loud funny to me and some of it is very touching (I identify with her writing style a lot) but I am also aware that everyone has different senses of humour and different emotional triggers, and a writing style that I love another may find grating so I am reluctant to recommend anything to anyone normally (I’m a coward). My advice is check out her blog and if you like her writing style then give one of her books a try. I listened to one as an audiobook and now own two physical books, that I got for Christmas. I would say I am a convert. One other thing to note, something I realised as an adult, life is too damned short to plough through a book you’re not enjoying. It is ok to just stop reading! Who knew?! So, that being said, perhaps borrow one and read a few pages, if you like it, fantastic, read to the end. If you don’t like it then put it down, run away and never tell anyone you were sent there by me!